Funniest source code comments :

// Dear maintainer:
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// total_hours_wasted_here = 13

// When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
// Now, God only knows

// I'm sorry.

// Always returns true.
public boolean isAvailable() {
    return false;
}

// You are not meant to understand this

// I am not sure if we need this, but too scared to delete.

// Dear future me. Please forgive me.
// I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

double penetration; // ouch

// Mr. Compiler, please do not read this.

// Hard to explain

// Empty constructor to satisfy the stupid compiler

public GetRandomNumber()
{
    // Chosen by a fairly rolen dice
    // guaranteed to be random
    return 3;
}

// DON'T SCREW WITH THIS CODE UNLESS YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND IT!

Episode 1 :

Two more episodes..

Episode 2 :

Episode 3 :

A couple of days ago, I had to create some web application with a very rich client side UI.
It worked like a charm in Google Chrome, Firefox… but IE7, after few dozens of nyroModal popups it just went dead.

Most of the styles are gone, JavaScript functions began to throw exceptions till it just stoped working, decided it can’t tolerate this kind of abuse any more and closed it self without any warning.

The first thing i did is to open Performance Monitor and what I see… every nyroModal popup i open cost me about 5Mb, so after a few clicks my IE7 virtual memory was about 789Mb. Terrifying, isn’t it ?

I’ve searched a bit and found the source of this problem was in one (of many) memory leaks IE7 proudly has – cleaning memory for removed HTML elements.

And now the fix.

1). Open your jQuery.js and find the next lines of code

    jQuery.extend({
        cache: {},

and add new function “discardElement”

    jQuery.extend({
        cache: {},

        discardElement: function(element) {
            var jqGCID = 'jqGarbageCollector';
            var jqGC = document.getElementById(jqGCID);
            if (!jqGC) {
                jqGC = document.createElement('div');
                jqGC.id = jqGCID;
                jqGC.style.display = 'none';
                document.body.appendChild(jqGC);
            }

            // place the element to the Garbage Collector
            // and clear it's HTML contents
            jqGC.appendChild(element);
            jqGC.innerHTML = '';
        },

2). Find the next lines of code in the opened jquery.js

	remove: function( selector ) {
		if ( !selector || jQuery.filter( selector, [ this ] ).length ) {
			// Prevent memory leaks
			jQuery( "*", this ).add([this]).each(function(){
				jQuery.event.remove(this);
				jQuery.removeData(this);
			});
			if (this.parentNode)
				this.parentNode.removeChild( this );
		}
	},

and replace “this.parentNode.removeChild( this );”
with “jQuery.discardElement(this);”

	remove: function( selector ) {
		if ( !selector || jQuery.filter( selector, [ this ] ).length ) {
			// Prevent memory leaks
			jQuery( "*", this ).add([this]).each(function(){
				jQuery.event.remove(this);
				jQuery.removeData(this);
			});
			if (this.parentNode)
				// this.parentNode.removeChild( this );
				jQuery.discardElement(this);
		}
	},

That’s it, now you (and every plugin) can do $(‘element’).remove() without being worry IE will eat all of your memory.