.NET Tips and Tricks

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life

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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

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Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

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Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are–by definition–not smart enough to debug it.

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Any code of your own that you haven’t looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else

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Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.

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The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late

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Q: Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance

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Unix is user friendly. It’s just very particular about who its friends are

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Did you mean: recursion
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=recursion

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Q: What is the difference between a programmer and a non-programmer ?
A: The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters

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I’d like to make the world a better place, but they won’t give me the source code.

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Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

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There’s no place like 127.0.0.1

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Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn’t get arrays.

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A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street

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Q: What’s the difference between Software Development and Sex?
A: In sex, you don’t get a bonus for releasing early.

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Documentation is like sex. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, it’s better than nothing.

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The shortest programmer joke: I’m nearly done

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JIT Happens!

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There are two types of people in this world those who understand recursion and those who don’t understand that there are two types of people in this world..

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Administrator = Admin is traitor

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Programmer’s son asks his father: Dad, why do the sun rise on the east and set on the west?
Father: It works? don’t touch it.

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Q: Why don’t programmers pray?
A: They don’t like throwing null pointer exceptions!

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In C++, your friends can see your privates

Funniest source code comments :

// Dear maintainer:
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// total_hours_wasted_here = 13

// When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
// Now, God only knows

// I'm sorry.

// Always returns true.
public boolean isAvailable() {
    return false;
}

// You are not meant to understand this

// I am not sure if we need this, but too scared to delete.

// Dear future me. Please forgive me.
// I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

double penetration; // ouch

// Mr. Compiler, please do not read this.

// Hard to explain

// Empty constructor to satisfy the stupid compiler

public GetRandomNumber()
{
    // Chosen by a fairly rolen dice
    // guaranteed to be random
    return 3;
}

// DON'T SCREW WITH THIS CODE UNLESS YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND IT!

Programming humor, 5.0 out of 5 based on 17 ratings